Contavity – noun: the feeling that you have been contaminated or may have contracted a contagious disease, derived from ‘contagious,’ ‘contaminated’ and ‘depravity’.
“After some heavy petting with the village cougar, he was convinced of his own contavity.”
Friendishness – noun: the antonym of fiendishness, employed to describe a person who is not quite a friend but behaves in a friendly manner; to be ‘friendish,’ not an acquaintance but not quite at the exalted status of friend.
“When she passed me toilet paper from the adjoining stall, she exhibited true friendishness.”
Gakert – noun: expired milk products that are chunky and grey.
“I wanted to pour some cream in my coffee, but all I could find was gakert.”
Genitacular – adjective: fantastic, amazing, spectacular, but with less clothes on.
“Saturday night was genitacular!”
Herbibore- noun: a tedious vegetarian.
“I don’t mind eating tofu, but he’s such an unbelievable herbibore.”
Pantiwant – noun: an untalented and thus, sexually unattractive rock star.
“Chad Kroeger is a pantiwant.”
Ponyfever- noun: a stage in feminine development in which preteen girls are irresistibly drawn towards ponies.
“I wouldn’t want to work at the summer camp because I hear it’s rampant with ponyfever.”
Septenta- noun: a grouping of seven or more people having sex in a single tent.
“We did some shrooms, and then a civilized camping trip became a septenta.”
Sordile – adjective: describes an action that is almost sordid but is too wishy-washy to excite much moral outrage.
“Eyeing up the firefighters’ annual charity pin-up calendar after teaching kindergarten all day was indeed a sordile thing to do.”
Squiggish – adjective: a word used to describe an occasion you are unsure whether you revolted or turned on.
“The woman’s third nipple made him feel a trifle squiggish.”
Zuxyquary – noun: someone who cheats at Scrabble, usually the most obnoxious asshole in your Canadian Modernist Poetry seminar.
“That fucking zuxyquary is trying to play a word with six ‘u’s again.”
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